Part 2 · Verbs, adjectives and the everyday basics · Lesson 21

Giving and receiving, and doing favours

あげる, くれる and もらう, and the same three attached to a verb for 'do something for someone'. A system built around direction: who is giving to whom matters to which word you use.

About 5 minutes to read

English says "give" and "get". Japanese has three main verbs, chosen by direction: toward you, away from you, or from someone to you.

Verb	Direction	Think of it as
あげる	from me (or the group I'm in) to someone else	I give
くれる	from someone else to me (or my group)	someone gives me
もらう	I receive from someone	I get

あげる: I give outward

私わたしIは友達ともだちfriendに本ほんbookをあげたgave

I gave my friend a book.

The recipient takes に, the thing takes を.

You can also use あげる between other people, if you're describing from a neutral viewpoint:

彼かれheは彼女かのじょgirlfriendに花はなflowersをあげたgave

He gave his girlfriend flowers.

くれる: someone gives to me

くれる is used when the recipient is the speaker (or someone close to them, such as family):

友達ともだちfriendが私わたしmeに本ほんbookをくれたgave me

My friend gave me a book.

母ははmotherが弟おとうとyounger brotherにお金かねmoneyをくれたgave

Mother gave my brother money.Here 弟 is a member of my family, so くれる is used.

The giver takes が (or は), the recipient takes に, and the viewpoint sits with the recipient. This is why Japanese has a separate word: the viewpoint matters.

もらう: I receive

私わたしIは友達ともだちfriendに本ほんbookをもらったgot

I got a book from my friend.

The giver is marked with に (or から), and the receiver is the topic. It's the same event as くれる, said from the other side: 友達が私に本をくれた = 私は友達に本をもらった.

Favours: て-form + あげる / くれる / もらう

Attach the same three verbs to a て-form to say that someone did something for someone.

友達ともだちfriendに日本語にほんごJapaneseを教おしえてteachingあげたgave

I taught my friend Japanese (as a favour).

先生せんせいteacherが宿題しゅくだいhomeworkを手伝てつだってhelpingくれたgave me

The teacher helped me with my homework.

友達ともだちfriendに駅えきstationまで送おくってtakingもらったreceived

My friend took me to the station. (I had my friend take me.)

The thing carried over is the favour. English "my friend took me to the station" doesn't hint that you appreciate it. Japanese often does by choosing くれる or もらう. Using 〜てくれた is a way of saying "thanks", and it's exactly why you'll hear it in speech and see it in books.

助たすけてhelpingくれてgaveありがとう

Thank you for helping me.〜てくれてありがとう: "thank you for doing 〜 for me". The most natural way to thank someone.

〜てほしい: I want you to

You've already met this one. て-form + ほしい = "want someone to".

手伝てつだってhelpほしいwant

I want you to help.

くださる, いただく, さしあげる

Polite counterparts: くださる (someone above me gives to me), いただく (I receive humbly), さしあげる (I give to someone above me). We'll meet these in the lesson on polite speech.

Longer sentences

Favours stack with reasons and thanks.

昨日きのうyesterday引ひっ越こしのmoving手伝てつだいをhelp友達ともだちにfrom friendsしてもらいましたreceived

山田やまださんはYamada車くるまをcar出だしてくれてbrought out for me and鈴木すずきさんはSuzuki重おもいheavy荷物にもつをluggage運はこんでくれましたcarried for me

おかげでthanks to this一日いちにちでin a day終おわりましたfinished

Yesterday some friends helped me move. Yamada brought his car, and Suzuki carried the heavy luggage for me. Thanks to them, it was all done in a day.

先生せんせいがteacher書かいてwritingくださったkindly gave推薦状すいせんじょうのrecommendation letter'sおかげでthanks to私わたしはI希望きぼうのdesired大学だいがくにuniversity入はいることがenteringできましたwas able

Thanks to the recommendation letter my teacher kindly wrote, I was able to get into the university I wanted.

Thank-you speech

今日きょうはtoday私わたしのmyためにforこんなにso素敵すてきなlovelyパーティーをparty開ひらいてくださってkindly holding本当ほんとうにtrulyありがとうございますthank you

先生せんせいにはfrom the teacher毎日まいにちevery day丁寧ていねいにcarefully教おしえていただきreceived teaching and友達ともだちにはfrom friends悩なやんでいたwas worriedときにwhen何度なんどもmany times助たすけてもらいましたreceived help

皆みなさんにto everyoneいただいたものをwhat I receivedこれからfrom now on少すこしずつlittle by little返かえしていきたいとI want to repay (quote)思おもっていますI think

Thank you so much for holding such a wonderful party for me today. From my teacher I received careful instruction every day, and from my friends I was helped many times when I was worried. From now on I want to repay, little by little, everything everyone has given me.

Key points

あげる = I give out; くれる = someone gives to me; もらう = I receive.
The recipient takes に; the thing takes を.
Add 〜て to do favours: 〜てあげる, 〜てくれる, 〜てもらう.
〜てくれてありがとう = "thanks for doing X for me."
〜てほしい = "I want you to".

Drill these patterns

Short example sentences for the points in this lesson: