Part 4 · Actions and attitude · Lesson 43
Self and each other: 自分, お互い, 〜合う
How 自分 points back at the subject, how to say 'by myself' and 'on their own', and how to express reciprocal actions: helping each other, talking with each other.
自分: self
自分 ("oneself") refers back to the subject of the sentence. It can mean "myself", "himself", "herself", "themselves", depending on who the subject is.
Used by itself, 自分 can also be a casual "I" (especially in the military, sports and the Kansai area).
自分で: by oneself
自分で = "by oneself, on one's own":
自分の: one's own
One-person-only: 一人で
一人で = alone, by oneself (as the only person).
自分で is about doing it without help; 一人で is about being alone. They can overlap.
自身: emphasis
自身 reflects the subject and emphasises it:
Doing things for each other: お互い
お互い = "each other, both parties":
お互いさま ("we're in the same boat / no problem") is a common phrase of mutual understanding.
〜合う: do to each other
Polite stem + 合う makes a reciprocal verb:
| Verb | + 合う | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 助ける | 助け合う | help each other |
| 話す | 話し合う | discuss |
| 愛す | 愛し合う | love each other |
| 分かる | 分かり合う | understand each other |
| 殴る | 殴り合う | hit each other |
ひとりでに: on its own
ひとりでに = "by itself, of its own accord" (without anyone doing it):
A note on tone
Be careful: 自分で can also be critical: 自分でやりなさい ("do it yourself!"). Tone and context decide.
Longer sentences
自分 and お互い appear in reflective writing and in descriptions of relationships.
Key points
- 自分 points back at the subject: myself/himself/herself.
- 自分で: by oneself. 一人で: alone.
- 自身 emphasises who.
- お互い and 〜合う: each other.
- ひとりでに: by itself.